I will make a tape one of these days, and that will no doubt be in one of the .wav files I send out. The following are a few things I jotted down in class.
A story from his college days. He was in a class, a Bio of some sort, and each student had to give a presentation. There was some guy, and his was on some part of the octopus. Only problem was, every time this guy meant tentacles, he said testicles. This subject came about when Roy raised his hand and asked what a word on a paper we had was. "What's preh-neh-tal" Mr. Eckely said, "The word's pre-na-tahl, Roy-bo." (On the subject of Roy, in preperation for writing this I asked Mo how to describe Roy, and she laughed.)
The girl behind me was chewing on her pen. After pointing out the fact that Jill does not know where that pen has been, he asked us, "Children, have you ever seen someone afflicted with trenchmouth? It's quite grotesque. They have festering sores all over their face. Back to infinitive phrases"
Moving on. Somehow, fighting came up. Mr Eckely says, "When I see girls fighting, I walk. When I see boys fighting, I run. I want to break that up as fast as possible so that my gender is embaressed as little as possible. Boys fight by shouting at each other. They try to prove the better man by seeing who knows the most obsceneties. Girls, no. They slap, clay, hit, pull, gouge, and kick. I walk up to two girls fighting saying, ooo, nice right hook"
We had a short little discussion on religion. Mr. Eckely ponders, "I wonder what a Jew does if attacked by a vampire. They can't very well hold up a cross." Then this girl Kim says, "THEY BREATHE ON THEM!!!!" (Galic breath and all) She thought it was very funny. I, for one in eight zillion, did not. He proceeded to ask Nate Lubin, the boy who wrote about Skippy, what a Jew would do. (Nate is Jewish) Nate didn't know. He then asked me what religion I was. I think he expected me to say hindu. Kind of surprised, I was like, "Woa, uh, er. I'm an athiest." He asked, "Is that all through your family?" I said, "No, my mom goes to Pine Street United Methoist." "Anyway, Flipse, what would an athiest do?" I started, "I don't..." Kim took the decided that she had been quiet long enough, "THEY BREATHE ON THEM!!!!" It was almost as amusing as the first time. Kim is the one, by the way, who drew a letter D in a box on my neck in Bio while I had my head down.
(Notes to Neil- During class Roy noticed an Elmo on Dana Scarfo's bag. He proceeded to yell, "ELMO!" Mr. Eckely said, "We are learning about verbals and Roy sees Elmo. Good Roy. Also the Tickle Me Elmo is the hottest toy this Christmas.As my friend Jason Kirk pointed out, "The top toy this season vibrates.")
Mr. Eckely asked me something and I said, "Went, no, was, no, whistling, no, was whistling, no... Sir, I got a 76 on that test."
That's enough of English class. I have more notes, but I can't for the life of me figure out what they mean. (This is from Dylan, not his english teacher.)
I started handball Tuesday. Wednesday the teacher, Mr. Montgomery, was taking roleand he called, "Dylan" but pronounced it like the word die. I very nicely said, "It's Dylan." He said, "Gimme ten push-ups." The first day he called Heather Billman. She said, "Here". He said, "Gimme a lap." As it turns out, he had her two older sisters and didn't like them very much. A different kid Nate had to do sixty push-ups the first day. You get ten each for bouncing a ball when you're not supposed to, throwing a ball when you're not supposed to, talking, and being male. No lie. He dismisses the girls and says, "Guys, gimme ten." What a great guy he is.
I have to go to bed now. I will get my tape recorder ready for first period. I hope I don't have another crap day at school.
Today was ok. I took the tape recorder in and recorded the whole English class. Except for one time, it was one of the most boring English classes yet. Oh well.
Today in Gym while calling role, Mr. Montgomery said "Die-lan" I said, "Here." I didn't want to do more push-ups. Billy Winder did 90.
More abuse of my name. I recieved a catalog in the mail recently. It had my last name spelled SLYPST. What a world we live in.
Dylan has been refering to himself in the third person much too often.
And now for something completly different. Have any of you tried the Montey Python CD? I hear it's quite good.
You know who is a very funny person? Dave Barry. The man makes me crack up. Everyone should be more like Dave Barry. I saw him on Oprah, and he even made me laugh then.
Ethyl made me drunk.
Right now I am listening to the tape I made today. This thing rewinds slowly. The only problem is, I sit near the back of the room, and I don't know how much I picked up. Hmmmmmm.
The first selection is my Latin teacher. Quite a guy. After that is Mr. Eckely talking to Roy, as you can tell. I not sure if calling a studant sub-human is ok with School Rules, but who cares? After that is Mr. Eckely teaching. This is thing where he talks loudly that I mentioned at the top. For the next file you'll have to turn the volume on your speakers way up. It is Mr. Eckely telling us, for no reason, a story about a man and his wife. They lived in the country. One night in the woman dies and the man begins to bury her. Then he remembers that she has a golden arm. He told this extremely softly, so it did not record. The second file picks up near the end of the story, and continues with the events that follow. The third continues with that, as the laughter went on for a while. I hope you don't mind me sending you all this stuff, will take up a bit of memory. Maybe I should send them in seperate mail? Maybe not.
Sis wants to get on the computer.
Ainderbury Quernhow (AYN-der-bee-KWERN-how) n.
One who continually bemoans the loss of the wors gay to the English language, even though they had never used the word in any context at all until they started complaining that they couldn't use it anymore.
I will be coming to NY this weekend, but I will only see a few of you.
After seeing how long it was going to take, I have had a change of heart and decided not to send the sound files. If you want them, tell me, and I will give them to you.
